


Shadows of Regret

by Silver_Siren



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: F/M, Foul Language, Graphic Transformations, Other characters may be added as needed, Spoilers, This is actually an RP thread taking place on Discord, You Have Been Warned, written with permission
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2017-12-12
Packaged: 2018-12-14 13:12:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11783865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silver_Siren/pseuds/Silver_Siren
Summary: When Lucia and Aymeric are cleaning up the files from the now-ended Dragonsong War, they come across a collect of reports and a summary of a mission that weighs heavy on their hearts-a scouting mission gone horribly wrong. However, there are pieces missing, and the one who could answer the questions Aymeric has is no longer in Ishgard, but rather, in Limsa Lominsa. Knowing he himself would get nowhere, he beseeches Alphinaud to help him. The young Elezen consents, intrigued by the individual for his own reasons. What follows is painful indeed...





	1. Chapter 1: Cleaning Up The Mess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aymeric and Lucia are cleaning up the files, when a rather painful memory returns at the sight of a collection of reports and a summary of a scouting mission gone horribly wrong. The tension does not go unnoticed, and the conversation leads to Alphinaud agreeing to help them find answers....

Chapter 1: Cleaning Up The Mess

There was so much paperwork, but he was a diligent man, Aymeric was. Lucia helped, of course, but it was still a lot. A war had just ended, and all of the old records needed to be taken care of… and then, he grimaced. Lucia looked up…   
  


“Lord Commander? Is aught amiss?”   
  


“...I just found the records of a certain mission…”   
  


“A… certain mission?”   
  


“One that went horribly and utterly wrong. A scouting mission, where we sent dragoons…”   
  


Lucia swallowed noticeably.   
  


“Fury, not that one…”

 

Alphinaud glanced up from his own (self-assigned) work at the exchange, a faint frown tugging on his lips. 

 

"Is aught amiss, Lord Commander?" he inquired, shutting his book to give the man his full attention.  Aymeric blinked, as did Lucia, before both of the knights let out an exasperated sigh.   
  


“As per usual, nothing escapes you, Master Alphinaud. But this is not something that is just… ‘amiss’. It is much darker than that, and it weighs heavily on both the Lord Commander and I.” Lucia began.   
  


“...Many years ago, we organized a scouting mission to sabotage the heretics’ supplies of dragon’s blood. A small group of dragoons were organized and sent via chocobo to investigate a possible storehouse, but right from the beginning, there was trouble.” Aymeric continued. Lucia looked at him, worried, but with a look, she understood, and continued the story for him.   
  


“At this time, there was a fiery young female dragoon who easily made Estinien look civil. Her name was Ser Selenie Armour, and, much like Ser Aymeric, she was a bastard child-though we know nothing of her parents, other than the fact they are likely dead. However, unlike Ser Aymeric, she let the insults get to her, and would regularly get into fights. It was only by the wisdom of another dragoon that she directed that anger towards the Horde, and what a terrifying rage it was. She earned a reputation-that of a foul-mouthed, short-tempered woman who was not to be taken lightly. And, as her successes continued to mount, she became arrogant…”   
  


“Arrogant enough to disobey orders and go along on the scouting mission. Of course, it ended up being a trap, and all of the assigned dragoons, as well as the heretics involved, were all found massacred…”   
  


Aymeric had to stop as the memories came back. Lucia placed a hand on his shoulder, but he shook his head.

 

“Pray forgive me, Master Alphinaud… the scene was beyond words. But there was indeed something very amiss-we could not find Selenie’s body, nor that of her ever-faithful chocobo, named Celestia. We saw a short trail of blood and a pooling where a wounded body might have been, but there were signs that it had been moved. Thus, we concluded that if Selenie had indeed gone on the mission, as the blood-stained reports said, that the heretics kidnapped her, and due to the nature of the war, it was closed… and yet, I cannot help but feel like there is something we’re missing.” He admitted.   
  


“Why would the heretics spare her? Why not kill her right then and there? What did they know about her that we didn’t? There were reports of her occasionally clutching at her head, and even in the early days of her knighthood, spontaneously fainting for no reason… but Selenie was a very abrasive woman, and would simply brush anyone off who tried to pry. Not even Estinien would have been able to get through to her.” He questioned.   
  


“...Mayhaps you could actually help us, Master Alphinaud. If Selenie is still alive, we must needs bring her back to Ishgard, so as to finally be able to lay this to rest properly. Would you be willing to provide your aid?"

 

The young arcanist blinked for a few long moments as they explained, only glancing between the two of them in the hopes he could gather more from their expressions than from their words alone. It was clear enough that they  were distressed by the past event, and that it had begun to bother them again. The situation itself? Vaguely out of his expertise, given he hadn't much experience in the realm of Ishgardian culture and society, though he was attempting to learn. An eyebrow rose when the dragoon in question was compared to Estinien -- as fond as he'd grown of the man, he found it difficult that anyone could make him seem civil. But he said nothing and continued to listen, nodding faintly every few moments as he pondered the explanations.    
  


"You need not ask my forgiveness, Lord Aymeric," he answered, his head shaking a bit -- something like this was never easy to speak of, no matter how far removed from the involved parties one was. But the mention of the strange events -- of spontaneous fainting and the like. The Echo was all he could think of -- and how useful it would be to have a second member of the Scions with the ability once more. He glanced up at the closing words, and surprised though he was he gave a nod. 

 

"I am willing to aid in whatever aspect I am able," he answered, pushing himself to his feet. "And I shall admit...you've made me rather curious of this Selenie Armour. In a few senses, she reminds me of our own Warrior of Light. I don't suppose you've any knowledge of where she might be? Nor any way to track her?"

  
“As always, your assistance is appreciated, Master Alphinaud. This is an incredible mess, after all…” Aymeric trailed. Both Knights couldn’t resist a chuckle at Alphinaud’s comparison.    
  


“I think both the Lord Commander and I would agree that the Warrior of Light is quite different than Selenie… though both of them did seem to have an incredible sense of justice. Selenie often did fight for the lowborns… in what other light are you finding similarities?” Lucia asked.    
  


“And also, to answer your question…. ‘Tis no less complicated than the rest of the case. We lost every trace of Selenie for years, but recently, we have heard rumors of a gifted lance-wielding adventurer in Limsa Lominsa who just so happens to be named Selenie Armour. It is in my nature to be someone doubtful, and I sincerely doubt that the names are a mere coincidence. And yet, if we were to visit the area, and the woman in question is indeed our Selenie, she would undoubtedly flee before we could get close. We need someone who is not knowingly tied to Ishgard to seek her out…. And that is where you would come in.” Aymeric explained, or at least tried to.   
  


“She is rumored to be partnered with a savant mage who, despite being unable to speak, wields magicks that even the strongest of primals fear. We have even less knowledge of this prodigy, other than that she is apparently quick to anger herself. I know you are a master of words, Master Alphinaud, but I will still advise caution nonetheless. We do not know where exactly she is, and we do not know if and how she has changed. She is quite elusive, only appearing to take jobs or deal out justice with force. You may end up in a trial by combat.” Lucia added.


	2. Chapter 2: On The First Try

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After more deliberation, Alphinaud sets off via carriage to Limsa to find his target. As luck would have it, a battle with Sahagan assaulters leads him to meet the subject of his search very early on...

Chapter 2: On The First Try

The arcanist couldn't help the vague worry that slipped onto his face at the words Lucia had said. 'Trial by combat.' It reminded him far too heavily of his and Tataru's accused heretical actions -- and the fact that he'd be essentially worthless against a melee-based opponent.

 

"Of course," the young elezen murmured with a small nod. The chuckle and the words that followed left him growing sheepish, however, clearing his throat a bit before he answered the question.

 

"I only meant in regards to the sudden loss of consciousness and strange...headaches, for lack of a proper defining term. It reminds me of the Warrior of Light and the Echo, truthfully." As the Lord Commander continued speaking, Alphinaud shifted his gaze to him, nodding a bit as he committed the words to his memory.

 

"Limsa Lominsa?" he echoed, shifting in thought. "And I highly doubt that is a common name....Which makes it the most viable lead possible...." He muttered.

 

“Hmmm… An interesting thought, Master Alphinaud… and one that is not entirely impossible. If the mystery adventurer in Limsa Lominsa does indeed turn out to be Selenie herself, mayhaps it was the Echo that kept her safe from Nidhogg’s vengeful thrall. As for the savant mage… we know even less. If we had to guess, ‘tis highly likely that they met in Dravania, as if Selenie’s body changed enough, she would have needed to have her armor reforged… and it is possible the mage knew just how to do that. After all, ‘tis very safe to assume that the first deed performed on her was the force-feeding of dragon’s blood.” Lucia mused. Another nod followed the worries, the suggestion.

 

"Of course, asking me to search for her makes a fair amount of sense. She'd have no way of knowing I've any affiliation with you and thus would not expect me to be the one asking after her -- and possibly bringing her back. ‘Tis a sound strategy." His attention shifted to the knight when she spoke, nodding again -- though he could not help the surprise at mention of the dragoon's mage companion.

 

"Even primals-- I daresay I find that difficult to believe...but I suppose there's a fair chance I shall see, sooner or later." 

  
“I cannot even imagine what she has had to endure… from what little we know, the Echo may have preserved her mind, but I doubt it could completely protect her body from the manifestation of our ancestors’ sins. If she retained enough of the shape of a man, mayhaps she would be able to fool the ignorant into thinking she was one of those strange Au Ra we know so little about, from the Azim Steppe. Another reason for her to remain in Limsa as well… It is located on an island, so very far removed from Ishgard and the realms beyond…” Aymeric trailed, his mind wandering to the thought of her possible suffering. He then collected himself with a breath.

 

"Not impossible, but yet quite surprising..." he murmured.

 

"That would certainly be probable -- if it can keep a person from being tempered by a primal, I see no reason why it would not do the same in regards to a dragon's influence." A faint hum escaped as Lucia continued speaking, a small nod tugging on his chin.

 

"If it comes to that-a fight-, then I shall handle it as I am able," he murmured, pushing to his feet.

 

"If there's no other information I've need of, might I take my leave to begin the trip?"

 

“I suppose there is naught else to say until we know more. May the Fury protect and guide you.” The elezen said, smiling towards the end.

  

"Yes, of course. A small reassurance it is to know that she should be fairly easy to locate. Tis not as though there is an abundance of Au'Ra in Limsa Lominsa." Then he nodded, a smile upon his lips. "I thank you for the sentiment, Lord Commander. I pray I am able to report to you my success relatively soon."  
  
And thus, the young arcanist set a course for Limsa Lominsa. The trip took a few days by carriage, but it seemed to go without a hitch for the majority of it...

* * *

 

She sat on a spire in Limsa, hidden by the dark of night. She was watching for anything suspicious, or anything that would warrant the attention of a skilled former dragoon and her gifted mage partner. It was decidedly boring, and eventually, she decided enough was enough. She got up, and stretched. If she couldn’t just find something in the city itself, then she’d go looking for something to do…. Only to see a strange young Elezen child on a carriage… She swallowed.  
  
He seemed too well off to not have some sort of hired protection… but where was it? It bothered her… and then, she saw with her powerful vision… Sahagin stalkers behind his carriage! She hissed, and nodded to her mage companion, before leaping down and landing in front of the Sahagin. She swept her lance underneath their feet, and fireballs blasted them back. She got up and looked back towards the carriage driver.  
  
“Get your sorry arse out of here! I can’t promise that my attacks won’t fuck up the surrounding area!” She yelled. The driver nodded, and kicked his carriage into overdrive.

* * *

 

The sudden sounds of combat behind him drew the arcanist's gaze, his eyes growing wide. Had he really managed to end up so lucky? To have found the precise person he was looking for not even a minute following his arrival? He supposed he'd figure it out sooner or later. (And he hadn't even noticed the Sahagins ere the battle had drawn his attention.) A couple steps took him a safe distance away from the main chaos of the fighting, and then he was taking his tome from where it was kept. The last thing he wanted to do was stand around waiting for someone else to defend him! So he set to summoning his trusty Ruby Carbuncle, sending it at one of the creatures once the spell was complete before casting a healing spell on the dragoon.

 

"I suppose I should thank you," he called, scanning their enemies.

 

"I hadn't even realized they'd been following us."

 

The Carbuncle surging forth made Alphinaud’s savior laugh.  
  
“So, Saphira’s not the only short Elezen mage! And you’re quite welcome!”  
  
A glare from the savant, laughed off by the dragoon.  
  
“Hey, you know I love you-”  
  
She watched as Alphianud healed her, and a shit-eating grin came across her face.  
  
“And he’s a healer! Oh, this is too good!” She exclaimed. Suddenly, dolls descended from seemingly nowhere, and the dragoon charged forward, jumping and skewering Sahagin after Sahagin. However, after the majority of the bystanders were gone… then, she went truly wild.  
  
Wings flared, and she went utterly insane. She clawed, skewered, and tore through enemies, layering in deadly light magic. All the while, her savant friend, unfazed, let loose all sorts of black magic and arcanima, crippling and blasting the Sahagin to pieces, a Ravana-egi at her side, aiding her.


	3. Chapter 3: Selenie and Saphira

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A brief fight, and then, Alphinaud gets to know his target and her ally... though not without a fair case of hilarity due to his young age. He also is quick to learn that he must be especially careful with what he says to Saphira.

Chapter 3: Selenie and Saphira

"I'm not short!" he protested, a faintest hint of a whine in his voice. "I'm sixteen! There's a difference!"

 

But Alphinaud was careful not to let his annoyance with the comment put him off his guard -- no, he had his sister to thank for that practice. And when the dragoon's skills began going a little more wild? He was hardly anything but startled, and it took a bit of effort to keep his healing on par with whatever damage she was taken -- be it by Sahagin or recoil. Yet another hearty laugh was elicited from the dragoon as she resumed her battle, armor thoroughly drenched in Sahagin blood by the time they were finished. By the time the last of them fell, he was sinking onto his knees in exhaustion, the red carbuncle vanishing.

 

"Dear gods, that was tiring...." He trailed, weakened.

She let out a holler of delight, and stretched… however, she was quick to notice Alphinaud’s exhaustion. She caught him, and looked at him, concerned. 

  
“Was that your first real fight, either ever or in a long while?” She asked, before ruffling his head and smiling.

 

"I've had plenty of real-- hey!" A hand raised to swat at her hand, his nose wrinkling up at the form of affection -- it felt more like she saw him as a child.  
  
“Well, I’d say that, either way, you did well and kept up with us. More than deserving of a good night’s rest at the inn. We’ll take you there.” She told him.. Before promptly picking him up and slinging him over her shoulder (making sure he wasn’t impaled on any spikes) as if he were a sack of popotoes. She then stood up, and began to head back to Limsa with a triumphant smile on her face. At her words, his gaze dropped a bit -- he'd barely felt able to keep up with them, in truth. And here she was praising him for keeping up! But he had little time to consider it before he was being lifted and thrown over her shoulder!

 

"H-Hey!" he protested, wiggling in her grip. "I am quite capable of walking myself, I assure you!"

 

“Ah, so it’s just that you aren’t used to keeping up with the likes of me. I suppose that can’t be helped… we did just meet, after all.” She concluded. And then, as she walked, she laughed at Alphianud’s protest.  
  
“For one, I do not trust you to walk in your exhausted state, and two, this is so much more fun! I like you, you’re one of the most adorable things I’ve seen in years! Ha! Sixteen and full of energy!” She insisted, continuing to carry the protesting teenager.

 

"I would ask that you not call me adorable!" he answered with a resigned sigh as he gave up on being put down and focused on trying to remain at least somewhat upright.

 

"It feels as though you see me as a child....Though I fail to see how being sixteen and full of energy makes me 'adorable' of all things...." A hum escaped, and then he turned a bit back towards her. "What's your name, anyway?"

 

“I can’t help it, that’s exactly what you are, and if there is one thing that I am somewhat known for, it’s rather brutal honesty.” She replied. She then sighed. “It’s because I do see you as a child…. And to be honest, how easily you exhausted, combined with your strange accent and the way you speak makes me worry a bit for you. I may be a war-hardened bitch, but it doesn’t mean I don’t give a shit. As for why those two things make you adorable… you’re young enough to still enjoy and see the good in the world, but old enough to not be completely blind and ignorant. And you seem to have a fair amount of energy in you, which I can appreciate. I can’t tell you how many kids I saw when I was growing up so… so…”

  
She bit her lip.

“So godsdamn weak. And it was never their fault-they were so poor treated by those who thought themselves above the poor… It makes my blood fucking boil just thinking about it!” She snarled, fangs visible for a brief moment, and eyes flashing draconic before returning to normal. A firm tug on her arm from Saphira, and she calmed down.

 

"E-Excuse me!? I'll have you know, that where I come from I'm considered an adult!" Not that that seemed to hold much sway outside the Scions but...he could try. Alphinaud hadn't expected her to speak such an opinion so bluntly, even if he had been warned about her in advance. But, she had a point. The words she'd spoken after had him falling silent, thoughtful, and it was a long moment before he replied. 

 

"I haven't seen much good in the world in a long while," he admitted, "not on my own, anyway. My friends are usually the ones to point it out. Though I fail to see what my accent's got to do with it." He turned to her as she grew angry, startled by how physical the change her temper brought was. Selenie couldn’t resist laughing. Where in the world could he have come from that he was considered an adult at the mere age of sixteen?! But then, her laughter faded in light of his comment.

 

“Friends, huh… Outside of Saphira, I haven’t really had any good friends in a long while. And the accent thing was just something I kinda… well, I kinda noticed it. It just seemed to be relevant for some odd reason.”

 

"I know what you mean," he murmured, thinking back to likely the same children she did. The ones in the Brume. Poor, sick, and neglected. "Just seemed to be relevant..." he mumbled, "all right.... As for your lack of friends...I'm sorry to hear that. I learned quite some time ago that it's better to do things with people to support you....You won't accomplish nearly the same things if you're on your own. And...I do get it, even if I don't find it so difficult. i'm lucky enough to be friends with some of those wonderful people....Hells, I am one of those people." A soft chuckle escaped him, his head shaking a bit at himself. 

 

“Heh, what could you have done about it? We’ve only just met. And, besides… the whole borderline-lone-wolf thing is something I’ve done of my own volition. I just… I just don’t want a lot of people knowing a lot about me. Let’s just say… I’ve done things I regret.” She admitted, but nothing beyond that. She would not tell him of her woes… A sixteen-year-old kid didn’t need to know any of it.

 

"If it's any consolation...there are good people out there, doing what they can to make things better for everyone." 

 

"Yeah, yeah, I know. It’s just… It’s really fucking hard to see it sometimes. You get that, right?” She half-heartedly asked. Then she introduced herself, it was little surprise that she was the exact person he'd been looking for. (Not that he'd say as much. He wasn't stupid.)

 

“Oh, right, I almost forgot. My name. It’s Selenie. What about you, kid? What’s your name?” She asked in turn, just as they arrived in the city proper.

 

"Alphinaud," he murmured. "Alphinaud Leveilleur." Leaning a bit to see her mage friend better, he feigned ignorance on her inability to speak.

 

"And you?"

  
She let out an exasperated sigh.  
  
  
  
“Alphinaud, huh? That’s a helluva long name… I’m gonna call you Alphy. Yeah, Alphy, I like it!” She decided, before hearing Saphira growl in annoyance when Alphinaud questioned her.

“Er… problem with Saphira here… she can’t exactly… well, she can’t talk normally. She ‘talks’ by drawing pictures in the air with magic. It’s actually pretty godsdamn amazing.” Selenie said quickly, before Saphira decided to roast Alphinaud alive.

   
  
The moment she proposed the nickname, however, his head was dropping again, a faint whine escaping him.

 

"Why does everyone go for that as the default nickname? Tis not as though Alphinaud is so hard...." A sigh, and then he was left puzzling over Saphira's exact response....Had she really growled at him?

 

"I...I see," he murmured, blinking a bit.

 

"My apologies, Saphira, I hadn't meant to offend you with the question. ...ah, but what brings you to Limsa Lominsa? Tis not often dragoons are spotted here."


	4. Chapter 4: Tempers Flare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seeing his exhaustion from the battle (or rather, keeping up with her), Selenie decides to rent Alphinaud a room for the night. However, when they turn in and begin talking, things quickly go very sour, and Alphinaud's life is endangered...

Chapter 4: Tempers Flare

His protest made her smile.  
  
“No, Alphinaud isn’t hard, but Alphy is far cuter! I can’t help it!” She told him. Saphira blew out a bit of air, before simply turning around and folding her arms. He gave a whine at her explanation, his lower lip sticking out in a dramatized pout.

"Does everyone think that?" he mumbled to himself.  
  
“Er, that’s the closest thing you’re going to get regarding forgiveness from Saphira. The fact that she hasn’t decided to roast you alive is the real sign.” Selenie explained. Finally, they arrived at the Drowning Wench, and she put Alphinaud down, before heading in and paying for a room. She then returned, and once again snatched him up. Poor Alphinaud, when she'd set him down, he'd thought he was free of being carried like a sack of popotoes, but the moment she returned, he was over her shoulder again, and he gave a sigh before shifting to make himself comfortable for the ride.  A faint chuckle escaped at Saphira's "forgiveness", his head shaking a bit.

 

"I'll take it, then, I suppose. I can't ask for anything more."

 

“Yeah, really can’t ask for anything more with Saphira. She is who she is.” Selenie mused. They entered the rented room, and then Alphinaud was placed on one of the beds. Saphira sat on the head of another, nose deep in a tomestone. Selenie closed the door, sighing.

"Pray forgive me for pressing, but what is a dragoon doing in Limsa Lominsa?" He asked again.   


“...What makes you think I’m a dragoon? Just because I’m good with a lance? Hells, by that logic, Gridania would be full of dragoons, no? All you need to concern yourself with is that I’m an adventurer, and my name is Selenie.” She lied, dodging his question and refusing to look at him.  

 

"Fair enough, I suppose," he murmured, giving a small shrug. "I...I'm sorry, I shouldn't have assumed," he added, his head shaking a bit.

 

"Though...I suppose that's a fair enough reason. I know someone a lot like you, actually. In that respect, at least. ...I think everyone's done things they regret, though. I don't think it makes you a bad person."

 

“Thank you, Alphy. Really, I appreciate it. You can’t know what those words mean to me.” She told him. She smiled softly at his kind words. She chuckled softly as well. 

 

"...What friend could you possibly have that makes you say that, I wonder?" 

 

"You only...remind me of a friend, in the manner you fight. He's a dragoon so....."

 

She growled. Suddenly, the air became tense. The moment the atmosphere grew tense, he regretted the question, his fingers fidgeting absently on his lap..

 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. As for the question, forget I asked. I've a habit of sticking my nose where it doesn't belong..." 

 

Selenie’s presence became darker.

  
“...You are friends with an Ishgardian Dragoon? ...That tells me you are undoubtedly friends with more Ishgardians….”  


"I never said he was Ishgardian-" Alphinaud protested, his head shaking a bit. She looked up to Alphinaud, her eyes now that of a furious dragon. Her wings flared in anger (thankfully the room was quite large, thus permitting the spread), and she grabbed the young Elezen by the throat. She slammed him against the wall, and locked eyes with him, the sudden collision drawing a yelp of pain from him as his hands raised to pry her fingers off.  


“Don’t lie to me any longer, _Alphinaud_ … You aren’t here by mere coincidence! You’re here because Aymeric and his little Garlean bitch sent you, aren’t you?!” She demanded, lance drawn.

 

"I haven't...been lying," he countered, "just withholding information....They asked me to come, yes, but I came of my own free will. And I'll ask you not to talk about Miss Lucia that way." He insisted, not amused by her insult of Lucia.

 

“I’ll call her whatever I want to call her, you half-pint arrogant piece of chocobo shit!” She told him harshly, and she tightened her grip, allowing him to breathe, but causing extreme pain. “And there is no such thing as a non-Ishgardian Dragoon, you ignorant boy!” She snapped, her grip tight and relentless. She hissed.

 

“One could argue that withholding the truth is even worse, brat.” She growled. Selenie then leaned in closer, her fangs now very visible and her eyes staring into his soul.

  
  
  
“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t snap your puny little neck in two, shit-eating brat. **_One. Good. Reason._** ” She hissed.

 

"I was not trying to deceive you," he murmured, feeling a vague flash of fear. He'd really messed up, hadn't he? Alphinaud considered arguing with her again, defending his friend, but she was tightening her fingers and a squeak of pain escaped, his attempts to pry her off renewing in insistence.

“Then what were you trying to do?! Hope that your young charms would be enough to convince me to go back?! I… I can’t go back! Not after all I did!” She said, eyes glistening.  
  
"Killing me will accomplish nothing," he answered, fighting the fear to meet her gaze. "Neither will doing naught but running from your problems. If you truly wish to change things, then change them! Don't turn your back and hope that things will mend themselves on their own." He desperately hoped he hadn't said the wrong thing again.... Her hand began to tremble, and eventually, she just tossed him to the side as if he were a ragdoll. She looked away from him, and took one of her wings in her hands.  
  
“These… These godsdamned things…  They’re like lingering scars that never heal properly, I suppose. They keep reminding me of all I did… of every last sin I committed…”  
  
Her body trembled in anger, sorrow, and regret.  
  
“What would you know about anything like that? You just seem like the type of brat who never has any problems at all, and even if they did, it would be but a snap of the fingers to fix them…” She asked, sliding down to her knees.


	5. Chapter 5: Prelude to Despair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Selenie and Alphinaud share a heartfelt talk, and finally, Selenie relents. She tells Saphira of her intent to explain the truth, and the savant agrees to aid her, exposing Alphinaud to things he would have never dreamed of...

Chapter 5: Prelude to Despair

"No, I--" but then he was being tossed, and a mumble of pain escaped when he hit the floor. (He was starting to get tired of talking to her -- it was far more work than he'd expected. But he couldn't give up, not after he'd promise Aymeric he'd try.) Her question grew his gaze to the floor, fingers curling against the wood before he pushed himself to his feet.

 

"I've far more problems than you believe," he murmured, his head shaking. "The only reason I ever met Lord Aymeric and Miss Lucia was because of one of those problems....One I essentially caused by my own hand...."  
  
Gods, but he hated talking about it, still hadn't quite gotten over the sting of the betrayal.  

“Months ago, I created a group of soldiers by the name of the Crystal Braves. They were meant to be a grand company without city-state ties -- intended to help everyone regardless of affiliation. But..." he took a deep breath to try to steel his nerves. "Most were never as much under my command as I'd have wished. An Ala Mhigan man by the name of Ilberd was the one pulling the strings the whole time -- and right under my nose, as well....I didn't even know how far I'd fallen in their eyes until the blade was at my throat and my dear friend was being accused of murdering the Sultana....”  
  
"Our only choice was to flee Eorzea and find refuge in Coerthas with H-...with a dear friend. He was the one who helped us achieve entry into Ishgard -- the one who helped us begin what would eventually start change in the whole of Ishgardian society. But twas hardly a snap of the fingers to do any of it...."

She listened, and it took everything she had to not cry. Of course it would take tragedy for an outsider to get into Ishgard in the past-the Church had ordered the gates sealed to outsiders, with almost no exceptions. And she had learned why, and it made sense. If the truth were to be revealed, the inevitable civil war would have killed thousands, if not millions. But she had heard true… Aymeric had done it, with the aid of outsiders and those faithful to him.  
  
“How… fitting, I suppose. And how it all makes sense. You listen to any story, and there is always some sort of tragedy somewhere, and yet… there tends to be those unrealistic happy endings that always angered me.”  
  
Her wings went limp, draping over her body.  
  
“I couldn’t stand the idea of a happy ending… the idea of peace was something I could never swallow. All I ever knew was war. Diplomacy is a battle I’ve never known how to fight, if you will. And that’s why I can never go back.”

"In that aspect, you remind me of both my dragoon friend and my sister, as well as plenty of others I know. Essentially the reverse of myself, as I am far more comfortable in a battle of wits and words, even if I can hold my own on the battlefield, and I fear this ending is far from happy," he admitted with a faint chuckle, his head shaking a bit as he rubbed a hand absently at his neck -- it still ached. 

“Your opposite in every way, huh… I suppose so. But that’s for the better, I suppose…” She chuckled sadly.

"But back to the matter at hand, at least not yet....There will be those who do not believe in the change, who fear it or what it will bring. I am certain they will fight against it....No, the road is still long and hard to a happy ending...." But he gave a faint hint of a smile at her reasoning, his head shaking a bit.

“Of course not, because this is reality, not some pathetic fairytale. And you have the core reason why-when people settle into a habit, they fear it being changed, and want to prevent that change, even if it is for the better. Believe me, I should know…” She said, trailing off. And then, she looked to him.  
  
“If anyone can lead Ishgard in this new, uncertain age,  it’s Aymeric. As much of an idealist as he is… he also can see the reality before him. I think that’s why he’s garnered so much damn respect from those who would usually hate bastard children like us… He’s just so fucking likeable.” She mused. “And if I went back, I would ruin everything.”

  
"And I do not argue that Aymeric is the best leader of now...but he cannot do it alone. I feel even he would willingly admit as much. He needs his friends by his side, as well as those who support him and his ideals, his vision for the future. Without that? ...I fear not even the Lord Commander will be able to break through centuries-old traditions."

  
“I see what you’re saying… But still…” She closed her eyes. “Would Aymeric still consider me a friend after all I did?”

"I think he would," Alphinaud murmured with a small nod. "Or at the least, he wouldn't be opposed to the idea that you could be. Then again, I cannot certainly answer, as I am not the man himself."  
  
A silence passed, and then, she sighed.  
  
“Saphira… help me out. I’m going to tell him why I can’t go back.”  
  
Saphira looked at Selenie with concern, but when Selenie showed just how serious she was, Saphira nodded, and took out her weapon-tomestone, before shifting it into was appeared to be a one-handed holographic keyboard and a pen. The request to Saphira drew his gaze back to the mage, a murmur of surprise escaping at the shift of her tome.

"Dear gods...I've never seen anything like that before...."  
  
She then looked to Alphinaud.  
  
“Saphira’s capable of many things. Now… prepare yourself for a horror story unlike any other.”  
  
Saphira began gathering aether, and began playing furiously on her keyboard; all while Selenie spread her body out.  
  
“Synchronize…”  
  
Their eyes took on a bright white glow as their souls synchronized, and Saphira began to paint the pictures of Selenie’s memories...


	6. Chapter 6: Moonlight Despair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alphinaud watches as the two Elezen before him synchronize their souls, and they create an area which allows Alphinaud to view Selenie's memories. She then begins to tell him of just exactly what happened...

Chapter 6: Moonlight Despair

He fell silent as the two began...whatever exactly it was that they were doing. (He couldn't exactly put a name to something he'd never seen before.) Whatever it was, however, it was a marvel of magic he'd never seen the likes of before. Needless to say, he was mystified. 

* * *

 

“As you no doubt know, I used to be a dragoon in service to Ishgard.”

 

_An image of Selenie appeared in Ishgard, without any draconic features. She was sitting on a pillar, holding her lance in one hand idly._

 

“I was always very violent, and I proved to be a gifted dragoon. My bloodlust and general savagery earned me the title of ‘Selenie the Crimson Spear’.”

 

_Various scenes of Selenie fighting and relishing in the battlefield were shown to Alphinaud in great detail._

 

“As my successes continued to mount, I became more arrogant and savage. It eventually came to a head one fateful day.”

 

_More scenes, this time, with Selenie disagreeing with other dragoons and knights, and then, a picture of her perched on a dragoon mount in Falcon’s Nest was shown, a shit-eating grin on her face._

 

“There was a scouting mission. The idea was to go in, destroy a rumored supply of dragon’s blood, and get right back out. But, as you can imagine… it didn’t go as planned. At all.”

 

_A small group of dragoons, mounted on chocobos, were riding towards an area, Selenie amongst them, but strangely, earning angry glares from the other dragoons._

“I wasn’t supposed to be on that mission, but I was so damn cocky that I thought I could get away with going anyways. I wish now I would have actually listened… but the me from that time would have never listened to the me from now. That aside…”

 

_A massacre scene began. Heretics appeared from every possible direction, and the dragoons were suddenly forced into battle. Sparks were flying, magic was being cast haphazardly, and the screams of people and chocobos being slain filled the air. By the time it was all finished, blood stained the ground, and everyone, save Selenie and her chocobo, were all dead. Even then, Selenie was not unscathed-blood dripped from her body, and her chocobo was limping._

 

“I had never witnessed such a massacre in my life… or at least, a massacre of my allies. It was heartbreaking… I felt crushed already, but even I knew I stood no chance if I stayed out there.”

 

_Next, Selenie was shown struggling to mount her chocobo, only to be ambushed by a small group of heretics. Before she could even blink, both she and her chocobo were dragged into a deep slumber via magic._

“As you can see, they got to me, the fucking bastards. But what happened next was somewhat weird to me.”

 

_It showed Selenie awakening, only to be strapped to a table, stripped of weapon and armor, but wounds perfectly treated and healed. Then, she was looking around, to see a heretic priest walking in…. And then, Selenie slid down, letting the scenes that followed explain everything from there._

* * *

_“Ah, Ser Armour, you are awake. How are you feeling?”_

 

_Selenie glared at the heretic priest._

 

_“Why in the seven hells do you fucking care?! I’m your enemy! Why not just kill me, like you did with all of my fellow dragoons?!”_

 

_“Because, Ser Armour, you are… special.”_

 

_Selenie looked confused._

 

_“Tell me, you have experienced strange instances of unexplained headaches and fainting, and, allow me to guess, when you lost consciousness, you saw visions of the past?”_

 

_She stared in shock. How…?!_

 

_“How do we know? Our mistress is similarly gifted. Though we could not confirm the visions aspect of it… rumors do fly. And your shocked glare only confirms our suspicions. As such, we knew better than to squander potential by killing you. Instead… we shall show you the truth!”_

 

 _He produced a vial of a crimson red fluid-and Selenie knew_ **_exactly_ ** _what it was. She turned away from him. He sighed in annoyance._

 

_“As ignorant as ever… But resistance is futile.”_

 

_Three more heretics appeared. Two forcefully braced her head so that it was facing up and tilted slightly forward, while the last one forced her jaw open. The priest poured the blood in, and she choked on it, but he traced down her throat, forcing her to swallow the majority of it. Then, all she knew for a brief moment was searing pain as portions of her skin hardened into royal blue scales. Navy blue talons forced her nails out of their places on her hands, as matching talons tore their way out of her elbows; those talons facing backwards. She spat as fangs forced her old teeth out of position, and she squirmed as her senses were suddenly overwhelming her… but then, a break-a surge of strength brought forth from her partial transformation-and then, she shattered her bindings._

 

_Everyone but the priest responded in a panic, but she punched through them (quite literally) with ease. She then found her armor and lance, before finding Celestia tied up outside. She cut the ropes binding Celestia with her newfound talons, mounted her faithful bird, and fled the temple._


	7. Chapter 7: Royal Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We see more of Selenie's past, including her brutally-painful transformation and her meeting of Saphira....

Chapter 7: Royal Blue

_ The next scene was that of a thundery night. Selenie could only don parts of her armor thanks to her partial mutations, but that was not the real problem. Signs of struggling were evident on her face-the struggle to resist her bloodlust, to drink deep and finish the transformation. She was out hunting, and there were plenty of dragons about-plenty of flying temptations. And today, her will was at its weakest. _

 

_ A wyvern flew close. Too close. It was the perfect storm. A broken soul, an all-consuming need. Eyes locked onto her prey, and she leapt.  _

 

_ The wyvern shrieked as it was tackled to the ground, and then, Selenie plunged her fangs into its neck, drinking greedily. It wasn't until she'd drained the creature that she realized what she'd done… and yet, there was nothing she could do.  _

 

_ She keeled over in pain, grabbing at her head. It throbbed, and she felt the agony as horns colored the same as her talons tore from her skull. She shivered as more of her skin hardened into the scaly armor that so trademarked dragons. Then, she fell forward, her legs forced out behind her, in response to a sharp pain in her feet. Said parts of the body were reshaped violently-the snapping of bones audible and her screams piercing the skies as her heels were forced upwards, her feet snapping into a digitigrade position. Talons much like the ones on her elbows tore loose from her heels, eliciting another cry of pain and drawing more blood.  _

 

_ And yet, none of that compared to what came next. The pain was indescribable as she drew her chest to her knees to try to cope with it… the feeling of her wings tearing loose, soaked in her blood, but their coloration-royal blue with sapphire blue membranes; bat-like in shape-was still clear despite the dark coating of her blood. More scales hardened down her sides and back, and she screamed as a whip-like tail tore loose from the base of her spine, blood dripping from the rupture. And yet, much like her wings, its coloration was easy to see-royal blue, with scales fading in color to sapphire blue at the tip.  _

 

_ It was all over. Her body was something she no longer recognized. Her armor would no longer fit, her lance would not fit on her back… she broke down. An exhausted mind, a weakened body… she did the only thing she could do.  _

 

_ She collapsed, and passed out cold. _

_ The next thing she knew, she was laying on a bed that accommodated her tail and wings, covered in a simple linen shirt and pants. She shot up, looking down first to reaffirm that it was all real (it was), and then, looking around… _

 

_ “Ah, so thou hast finally awoken from thy deep slumber.”  _

 

_ She snapped her head around to see a large dragon laying near her, looking right at her with piercing red eyes. _

 

_ “Have no fear, young mortal. I am no threat to thee. Mine name is Vidofnir, daughter of Hraesvelgr. What shall I call thee, daughter of man?”  _

 

_ Selenie looked down at her clawed, scaly hand. _

 

_ “...Selenie. Selenie Armour. Once a dragoon… but now…”  _

 

_ “Thy fate is uncertain. Thou knowest what thine fate shalt be if thou dost return to Ishgard, but thou also hath no desire to side with Nidhogg’s brood.” Vidofnir concluded. _

 

_ “...That's about the long and short of it. Where’s my armor and lance, and why did you keep me alive?” Selenie asked. _

 

_ “A fellow daughter of man that we hath raised is working to recreate thy arms. As for why thou wast spared, my father hath ordered me to prevent discord in our home. Thy soul is shattered, thy heart is broken. But there is hope yet for thee, as thou hast undoubtedly been shown the truth by the Crystal.”  _

 

_ Selenie thought. While she was asleep, a voice had spoken to her, and she had indeed seen a large Crystal… and she had seen images of King Thordan’s betrayal of Ratatoskr.  _

 

_ “What am I to do? I have no desire to be involved with this madness any longer.” _

 

_ “Flee south, to the lands beyond. Find a new beginning there.”  _

 

_ “...Become an adventurer, and hope no one ever recognizes me. Well, if I keep to Limsa, no one should figure it out.”  _

 

_ A small Elezen walked out, levitating Selenie’s armor and lance in the air with aether.  _

 

_ “Her name is Saphira Glacies. Like thee, she is a daughter of man. She, however, was inflicted with a fever that claimed her voice, and was scorned and rejected by her own kin. Her gift for magicks is unparalleled-and as such, we raised and taught her. But, like thee, she desireth to see the realm beyond… wouldst thou be willing to take her with thee on thy journey?”  _

 

_ Selenie sighed.  _

 

_ “Sure. Not like I have any reason not to.”  _

 

_ Vidofnir smiled.  _

 

_ “Rest here for a while longer, and then, thou art free to go.”  _

 

_ Selenie smiled softly.  _

 

_ “Thanks, Vidofnir. I mean it.” _

 

_ “It is no trouble, little dragoon.” _


	8. Chapter 8: Endeavour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After showing Alphinaud the truth, the young Elezen male is clearly unsettled, and yet, still does not entirely understand. A soul-searching talk ensues, and finally, Selenie relents to Alphinaud's request...

Chapter 8: Endeavour

”...And, once I was well enough, I put my armor on, took up my lance again, and trained with my new powers. Once I was good enough, Vidofnir kept her word and we left for Limsa. I keep Celestia in some private stables, and we've been adventuring ever since.” Finally, after the scenes finished, Saphira ended the spell, and returned to her bed, once again reading. Thoroughly exhausted, Selenie collapsed to her knees.

“You get it now? Why I can't go back?”

"Yes, I'd heard as much from Lord Aymeric..." Alphinaud murmured, though the images appearing in the air before him soon rendered him utterly speechless. Faint nods accompanied each bit of information he'd been told -- from how Selenie had been before to the heretic attack. Then the story shifted into what he didn't know, and he was left watching the events unfold with wide eyes. The vague mention of Ysayle had him frowning a touch -- there was certainly no way she'd ordered them to do something like that, it just didn't seem like her -- while the sight of Vidofnir had his expression lighting up in recognition. Her pair of transformations? Left him stunned into utter silence for a few long moments after her story continued, a mixture of concern and confusion on his features.

"I'd...no idea it was like that," he murmured finally, his head shaking a bit.

"It must have been terrible....But...I still don't entirely understand why you can't go back, though I'm willing to make the effort. It seems, to me, what's keeping you from returning to Ishgard is the fear that you'll be treated horribly, that people will regard you with only fear and distrust. And...maybe for the time yet, that is true. Someday, however, I'm certain that will change. ...have you never wanted to go home?" He asked. 

“‘Have I never wanted to go home?’ What kind of question is that?! As much as I hated how the so-called ‘nobles’ treated me, save for a select few, it was still home. It was all I fucking knew, for the longest while. I still have feelings for it, and I do want to go home… but it would be a fool’s endeavour. I have the features of a dragon, for the Fury’s sake! Saphira can’t talk-she’d be labelled a heretic! We’d both be executed on the spot!” Selenie told him, before sighing.

“...But, if outsiders can be viewed as the saviors of Ishgard…. Then maybe… just maybe…” She closed her eyes and looked away, before opening them again.

“...Maybe… I could try. I don’t know for sure… but maybe.” She muttered softly, flicking her tail nervously.

"I didn't mean it that way, I--" a sigh escaped him and he rubbed his hands across his face.

"Seven hells...it feels like I can't speak properly today." But then she was continuing, and he was giving a nod and a smile he hoped was as encouraging as he meant it to be.

"Of course you can," he answered, pushing to his feet again. "Trying is the first step to solving any problem, after all! And I don't see why anyone would think Saphira was a heretic simply for not speaking."

“Happens to all of us, Alphy.” She assured, before ruffling his head and smiling softly, if but for a moment. But then, the smile faded just as quick as it came.

“You’d be surprised what can get you labelled a heretic. Still… you...I don’t know what it is, but you’re… you’re inspiring me to at least try to go… I suppose. But still… I don’t know how well I’ll be received… especially by the Lord Commander who I indirectly disobeyed.” She admitted. 

"Ah-- hey!" he protested at the ruffle of his hair, swatting gently at her hands. Her words, however, caused his gaze to lower a bit, his head to shake.

"No...actually...I know quite well," he admitted, his nose wrinkling up at the memory.

"Hells, shortly after I arrived in Ishgard, while asking for information on the whereabouts of my friends, I and my friend Tataru were convicted of conspiring with heretics...." His eyes rolled a bit before he gave a shrug. He gave a chuckle at her words, his head shaking a bit.

"It seems I've a way of doing that, inspiring others." he admitted with a rub of a hand to the back of his neck. It  _still_ ached from her death grip.

"And as for the Lord Commander, I'm sure Aymeric has forgiven you. Or shall after he gives you a talking to. Though...I suppose that's only an educated guess at best." 

She took a deep breath in, and let it out.

“Why am I not surprised?” She asked sarcastically.

“When I was last there, bloodlines were far more significant than skill. Fucking disgusting, in my opinion.” She said. She huffed at him just taking the complement, and folded her arms.

“Aymeric was certainly good with words… I don’t want to think of what he’ll say if he chooses to berate me. It would sure as hells be within his right to do that, though…” She mused, leaning back… until she cursed a blue streak due to crushing the base of her tail. She huffed.

“Damnit, I still do that, after all of these years of having the damned thing!” She hissed, before looking down.

“I know this may sound pathetic… and childish… and maybe even a bit selfish… but could you…” Selenie hesitated… for a good few moments… “...help me out a bit? With… the whole… going back thing? I’ve been away for a while… and I… I don’t want to face Aymeric and Lucia alone…” She finally managed. Saphira looked up from her tomestone, concern visible.

"That's a fair enough point," he laughed, his head shaking a bit.

"While I've not been directly chastised by him, I can only imagine how well he can scold...." A flinch of sympathy answered the obvious discomfort she felt at accidentally sitting upon her own tail. “I was never really around him… but from what little I did see, the man was capable of tearing anyone and everyone around him a new one if he so desired. Hells, he probably could’ve defeated Nidhogg just by talking him to death!” She joked, before rubbing the base of her sore tail.

"Would that were possible," he chuckled, "it would have saved us a lot of trouble...." A faint chuckle escaped at her suggestion.

"Are you all right?" he murmured in inquiry, only for her next request to catch him off guard.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just a little bit of pain. Nothing I haven’t done before.” Selenie assured. She then calmed herself with a breath. 

"You...want my help?" he asked, blinking in surprise. Saphira looked down for a moment, and then crawled over to Alphinaud, before poking him a bit. 

“Yes. I want your help. You seem to have a way with words, so you can keep me from saying something really fucking stupid and ruining it. Plus, he might be a bit more merciful with you around…” She admitted.

"I may be good with words, but not speaking takes your effort, as well. I can hardly keep you from saying 'stupid things' if you're intent on speaking." He admitted. However, his surprised feeling which only grew when Saphira, of all people, poked him, or he realized she was poking him. 

"Ah-- Um...yes, Saphira?" He asked. Selenie watched Saphira after the savant succeeded in getting Alphinaud’s attention. Then, she smiled as Saphira held out an obsidian-like jewel which pulsed with strange energy. 

“That’s one of Saphira’s Obsidians, and they’re no ordinary jewels. She has infused them with the essence of Odin Himself. Using it, you can call upon your own version of the Dark Divinity. It takes practice and it’s extremely powerful, so the fact she’s offering one to you means she trusts you and wants to help you out. That’s no small feat with her, I assure you!” Selenie explained. 

"...how is that even possible?" he breathed in amazement, his eyes growing wide. A faint murmur escaped at the strange stone, though he carefully took it from her. 

"I...thank you, Saphira. Though I'm not entirely certain where this shall come in handy."

Selenie shifted so she was side-sitting, and her tail mercifully resting on the bed behind her. She closed her eyes for a moment.

“If I’m going to do this, I’m going all the way. Aymeric would want it that way, I’m sure. He’ll want to hear it all. But you can help, somehow… you’ve seen it from my point of view.” She said. Then, she shook her head.

“And hells if I know how in the flying fuck she manages to do it, regarding Saphira and her Gems. She just does. It’s for combat purposes, really-better than just another Carbuncle by a long shot. She’ll teach you, don’t worry.” Selenie assured. She then looked at Alphinaud seriously.

“...We’ve delayed long enough, really… Say, why don’t we meet tomorrow by the Aftcastle Aethernet Shard… and just go ahead and get it overwith?” She suggested.

"That sounds a good enough idea. If you've nothing else you need me for at the moment, I shall just rent myself an inn room. And perhaps wander the city a bit, it has been a while since I have enjoyed the sea air." Alphianud agreed.

"Tis admirable," he murmured, adding to his statement, giving a nod, "and I shall help you in this endeavor to the best of my abilities, though I can't promise it will go entirely free of difficulty. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that nothing worth wanting is free of trouble." A nod followed the answer to his question, a soft smile turned to Saphira.

"Thank you, again, Saphira. I shall keep this safe, and I look forward to learning more about it from you." With that said, he tucked the small jewel away where it would not be easily found before standing.

“...Your kindness is… it’s appreciated. I was never really good with words… I never had a proper education. I just learned as I went… But I know Aymeric will want to hear the truth from me. He won’t accept it from anyone else. And you’re damn right about that, kid. If you want something, truly, you’ve gotta be willing to go and get it yourself. That’s who I am… and this whole reunion is beyond fucking overdue. I need to stop hiding like a damn coward… and face the music, no matter how much it hurts….” Selenie trailed, a single tear trailing down her face.

"I don't know that anyone is good with words without the proper practice," he mused, a faint smile turning up his lips. "After all, tis practice and learning that makes the best leaders and speakers what they are. Though, of course, there are always exceptions to the rule." He thought of Raubahn with the words, and perhaps maybe of Merlwyb -- though he knew less about her past than the Flame General's. "But you're probably right. Lord Aymeric is not the type to take anything at face value unless it is from the source of it." His head shook at the insult she gave herself. "I do not think you a coward, only a scared and confused girl who's still trying to figure out what's happened to you. Tis hardly the same thing."

“...I guess I just never had any sorta practice. I’d sooner cut a man’s balls off than try to talk him down, because when you’re a fucking bastard child in Ishgard, no one gives two fucking shits about you. You have to prove yourself, and that’s exactly what I fucking did. Aymeric knew that…” She paused, and chuckled darkly. “Maybe that’s why he put up with all of my chocobo shit. Maybe it’s because… he knew what it felt like to be a bastard. I guess he just… He just… oh hells if I know how things ended up like they did for our paths!” She exclaimed, giving up at the end. Words weren’t her thing, she was a woman of action, but even she knew when enough was finally enough… and then, when Alphinaud insisted that she was not a coward, she put her face in her hands and shook her head.

“How am I, a grown-ass woman who has been through all seven hells and back, able to be told off by some pretty boy who I don’t think is even from Eorzea?!” She questioned sarcastically. 

Saphira reached over to Alphinaud, and, with some effort, actually reached out and patted him on the head. Selenie blinked. Saphira then smiled at Alphinaud in a warm way.

“...She hates touching or being touched… hehehe…” A sharp glare from the savant mage-”...Okay, okay… I’ll shut up.” Selenie had to hold back her tongue because godsdamnit was it plain… and she valued her life....

“Alright. We’ll head back to our little hideout, and you can just stay here. See you tomorrow.” Selenie confirmed, before the pair left, leaving Alphinaud to his devices. Once they were out of sight of everyone else, Selenie grabbed Saphira and took off into the night sky, deep into the fog of the sea…


	9. Chapter 9: Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A reunion at an Aetheryte, and Alphinaud returns to Ishgard, dragoon and mage in tow. A few shenanigans, Selenie teasing Alphinaud as he is coming to expect of her, but otherwise, the ride is uneventful. When the time comes for Selenie's inevitable reunion with her former commanding officier, Alphinaud begins to see a whole other side of the dragoon he has only just met...

 Chapter 9: Return

Though he knew not until Selenie spoke of Saphira's aversion to touch, the pat upon his shoulder surprised him nonetheless, drew a murmur of such past his lips that only shifted into wide eyes upon the dragoon's words. "I...am not entirely sure what to take this to mean, truthfully....Though I thank you for trusting me so much, Saphira." At her farewell, he gave one of his own, waiting until they'd left to settle down for a short nap. He had a feeling he needed it after such an eventful conversation....

* * *

 

When the new day dawned, he rose early and made his way to the Aetheryte Plaza, always thinking it better to be early than late. And though he doubted that the dragoon and her mage friend would be up quite so early, he scanned the sparse crowd around the crystal anyhow -- just in case he'd pegged them wrong.

Unknown to Alpinaud, both dragoon and mage were up together-Saphira being innately very restless due to her condition, and Selenie having learned to be able to rise whenever and wherever, ready to fight. They took off, and hid in the skies of Limsa, before Selenie just got a most wonderful idea. Saphira nodded, knowing, and allowed herself to be dropped off a good few yalms away from Alphinaud in silence… only for Selenie to moments later divebomb the ground right in front of Alphinaud, eyes glowing and baring her fangs in a dramatic manner, knowing it would likely scare the teen utterly shitless.

* * *

 

In hindsight, he was thankful the plaza seemed to be empty. Not only because it prevented embarrassment at screaming much akin to a little girl at the dragoon's sudden descent, but because it meant no one was trying to kill Selenie as a result. (Even the usual Yellowjacket guards seemed to be out of view. Thank the Twelve for that.)

"Seven hells, Selenie!" the arcanist protested once he'd recovered enough from his shock to recognize her. "Was that really necessary!?"

Selenie let out a good, hearty laugh.

“You’ll have to forgive me, my little friend! ‘Twas all too easy-I had to!” She told him, laughing. Saphira rolled her eyes and growled, and after a bit, Selenie stopped.

"That hardly makes it necessary!" he protested, still getting over the shock of it all.

“In truth, I just wanted to do something lighthearted before I finally went to own up to the clusterfuck that I created…” She admitted. She then inhaled deeply. As she continued, he began to find more reason to forgive her for it.

“I get the feeling you have it all set up… let’s just go, before I change my mind.” She said.

"That is fair enough," he murmured, giving a small nod. "Were I in your position, I might do the same. Especially given you know I won't call the Yellowjackets. But you're right, let's go. Though unless you've a faster idea of travel than the carriage, you'll yet have plenty of time to change your mind." She let out an exhausted sigh.

“Nothing’s that simple, but glad you get it.” She admitted. For a moment, she looked back, and flared her wings open.

“Could fly, but I doubt that would be a good idea. Don’t want all of Ishgard knowin’ my secrets.” She concluded, before folding them back up and huffing a bit.

“Let’s just go.” She repeated, before going into the carriage and curling up on her side, falling asleep… and snoring. Rather loudly. He followed quietly as she made her way to the carriage, moving to sit across from her and settling in to enjoy the ride.

* * *

  
"I'm...not certain if I enjoy the idea of flying that way," Alphinaud admitted, breathing a sigh of relief at the fact that she'd decided against it herself before they got on. (Especially since she seemed to have a habit of sudden descents.)

"Judging by your face, it's because you're scared I'll drop you. Don't worry, I have more than enough strength to carry you in the air!" She assured, with a fanged smile.

"Still, you're likely right to hide such a secret, even if there are aspects of it that can't be hidden at all...."

"Sadly, you have a point. I can't hide my horns and tail so easily. My wings fold up, thank the Fury." She said.

When Saphira began to snore, he blinked a bit, slowly turning to Selenie.

"Does she...typically fall asleep so quickly?"

Selenie chuckled and wrapped her arm around Alphinaud. Her jesting face dropped.

"Depends on a lot of things, really. She's exhausted from processing a lot of emotions, all of the battles we had last night, staying up a bit too late, and making that Obsidian for ya." She turned to Alphinaud, grinning.

"You know the real reason she made it for you, right?"

A faint hum escaped him at the answer, a small nod tugging on his chin.

"Tis fair enough...if a bit concerning...." The second part of her answer had him feeling guilty, she'd stayed up so long for him? It was hard not to feel guilty. The inquiry (accompanied with the grin) had him fumbling over his words for a moment, his eyes wide.

"I...I'm afraid I don't," he murmured, his head shaking a bit.

"What reason would she have for making it for me?"

She couldn't hold back anymore. She burst into roaring laughter.

"Oh, what is it with you bookworm types and not being able to see what's right in front of you?! She _likes_  you!" Selenie told him, before laughing again.

"I...fail to see what is so funny," he mumbled at first, though he was almost sure she couldn't hear him over the sound of her own laughter. But her answer had him blinking, his eyes a bit wide. "I...no, you're just trying to mess with me, aren't you? Tease me or something." Surely that was it, right?

Her roaring laughter only continued. "Oh, this is too good! Just what I need! I'm being serious, Alphy! Serious as the Calamity!" She told him.

"You can't really be serious about this..." he mumbled, his head shaking a bit. "Hells, we barely know each other, even...."

"You're the only other human that gets Saphira besides me. She appreciates that." She explained.

"I still...fail to see how that translate to liking me so much..." Alphinaud shook his head a bit, a faint sigh escaping. Selenie shrugged.

"Eh, to be honest, she may just see you as a good friend now, but she may wanna move up soon enough. Hard to get a read on her sometimes." She admitted.

"...and here I was certain that diplomacy was only my problem," he murmured, giving a faint sigh and rubbing at his forehead.

Selenie then turned and looked out, and saw the Gates of Judgement in the distance.

"Damn, we're closer than I thought..." She muttered, her tail flicking nervously about.... and unintentionally smacking Alphinaud right in the face...  Then her words drew his gaze to where the Gates towered in the distance.

"Yes, I suppose we are....Ah--! Careful...." He pushed her tail back down and out of his face, his nose wrinkling up a bit.

"I hope you're aware that hurts rather a lot."  Nervously, however her gaze returned to the Gates. She swallowed, and sunk a bit. "Sorry... the tail's pretty strong, and when I get upset or nervous... well, you felt what happens... Gods.... what will I say to him...."

He turned his focus back to her worries, a reassuring smile turning up his lips.

"You'll say what you need to. What else is there to say?" But then, she shook her head.

"You should know by now that I'm complete and utter chocobo shite at words. I... I'm worried I'm going to fuck up." Her words drew a faint smile to his lips, and he reached over to give her a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

"I won't argue with that, but I trust in both you and Lord Aymeric. Things will work out for the best, I'm sure."  She closed her eyes for a moment as they pulled through the Gates.

"Moment of truth is at hand..." Her words drew a faint murmur from him, and he gave her a smile he hoped was reassuring.

"I'm sure you can do it. One way or another."

* * *

 

It did not take much longer for the carriage to arrive in Ishgard. Selenie swallowed, but dismounted with her longtime friend and the young Elezen. She looked at him..

"...Care to break the ice for me? I... I need to think of exactly how I want to say what I need to say..."

"I shall do what I can," Alphinaud murmured, a small nod tugging on his chin. "But I can promise no more than that...."

He entered the Congregation ahead of the two, greeting Aymeric even from across the room.

"Lord Commander. I trust you've been well? I have a couple...guests that might interest you...."

Aymeric looked up from his paperwork, Lucia by his side. He smiled.

"Our ever-elusive dragoon and her friend, I assume? I must congratulate you on your success. If I am to be honest, I did not think you would succeed." Aymeric said, smile soft and gentle. He then looked around.

"...Where are they?"

"...You have such faith in me, Ser Aymeric..." he mumbled softly, a faint sigh escaping.

"I...aren't they right behind me?" He blinked a moment, turned around where he expected the two girls to be.

 ** _"MOVE, YOU PRETENTIOUS BASTARDS!"_ ** With the roar, some cursing, and moans of pain, the doors were thrown open, and the guards tossed aside. Selenie growled. The young elezen flinched at the shout from outside, giving a small sigh as he dropped his head into his hands.

"So much for a good first impression..." he mumbled, his head shaking a bit as he raised his gaze again.

"Selenie...did you try saying 'please' or 'I'm with Alphinaud' before you fought your way through?"

Selenie growled, unamused.

“Damn blueblooded bastards wouldn’t let me through with Saphira! Didn’t have much choice!” She said harshly.

"Fucking highborn bastards, thinking they can say no to me!" She hissed. She then looked up, and all of her confidence went as quickly as it had come. Aymeric cleared his throat, and her previous anger was gone.

"...It's been a while.... Aymeric..." was all she could manage.

“Thank you, Master Alphinaud, for your trouble. It is most appreciated.” He said, before turning to face Selenie.

“Selenie. It has been a long while.”

“...It has.”

“I assume the young lady beside you is your mage companion?”

“....She is.”

Aymeric narrowed his gaze.

“You are uncharacteristically shy… Why? What is it?! What are you hiding from me?!”

She was silent. Aymeric’s anger began to intensify.

  
“Why won’t you say anything?!”

His anger rose, until he could contain it no longer. He got up and slammed his hands down on his desk, startling Lucia and Selenie, thus grabbing her attention.

“Answer me, damnit!”

The former dragoon clenched her fist, and then…

She ripped off her helmet.

Aymeric and Lucia both stared in total shock. Pale skin had patches of royal blue scales on it. The navy blue horns on the side of her face were very much real. Fangs were bared in anguish and sorrow. Her wings flared and she let her tail flick around. Tears poured forth from draconic, despair-filled azure blue eyes. Her lip trembled.

“Happy now, Aymeric?! Happy to see the monster I’ve become?!” She snapped, clearly broken as her wings dropped and her tail stopped. She looked down, closing her eyes, unable to stop the mournful tears. She slid to her knees.

“...Selenie is dead, Aymeric… and I’m all that’s left.”

Aymeric shook his head, and walked out from behind his desk, before walking to the emotional ex-dragoon, kneeling down, and… embracing her. The gesture was startling, and, for a brief moment, she stopped.

“You’re not a monster, Selenie. You were simply dealt a bad hand, and didn’t know what to do with it.”

She began to tremble in the Lord Commander’s arms. Lucia walked over, and knelt down to her level.

“Ser Aymeric never intended to make you pay for a crime you never committed. He never hated you, Selenie. He just wanted the honest-to-gods truth, to finally put this all to rest. And you’re here now. You can give that to him. You’ve already helped countless people as an adventurer. You can help him and all of Ishgard by telling us the truth.” She told her softly, a gentle look on her face.

And finally, the dam broke.

Selenie cried on Aymeric’s shoulder.


	10. Repentence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Souls have now been laid bare, and Aymeric comes up with an idea for Selenie to truly atone. Now, the Scions have two new interesting members....

Chapter 10: Repentance

Lucia was swift to join in comforting the tormented dragoon, letting her cry and _finally_  granting her the freedom she didn't even known she had been seeking, ever since her capture, her humbling, her misery, whatever it was to be called. Lucia understood the tortured soul-oh, how she had feared Aymeric's reaction to her own confession of being a Garlean spy, and thank the Fury that it had turned out just as well then as it was now. The First Commander removed her circlet, and it seemed like all eternity passed. Any time a knight considered getting a funny idea and interrupting the session earned a swift yet silent retribution from Saphira, who was finally happy to see her friend receive peace. It seemed like all eternity passed before Selenie had finally let the darkness within bleed out dry, and in that moment, status no longer meant anything. He wasn't Ser Aymeric de Borel, Lord Commander of the Temple Knights. She wasn't Lucia goe Junius, First Commander of the Temple Knights. She wasn't Ser Selenie Armour, the Crimson Spear. No, rather, he was Aymeric, a gentle soul, she was Lucia, a kind friend, and she was Selenie, a woman in dire need. 

"They might have understood if you'd told them you were with me," He sighed again, but then the commander was speaking and he fell silent, stepping back with a small nod. He could sense some bit of tension in the air -- apprehension of what was going to happen from here on out. But he felt there was nothing he could do but listen -- an impartial observer to what was happening. He'd be lying if he said it didn't break his heart in the slightest to see her breaking down -- he hadn't seen her so emotional in the whole time he'd known her. (He wondered if Aymeric had or if this was new to all parties involved.) All things considered, the outcome was better than Selenie had assumed -- better than he could have even hoped for, he admitted to himself.

"I told you he wouldn't hate you," the young elezen finally murmured, taking a small step forward.

And then, Selenie caught wind of Alphinaud's murmur. She shook her head.

"Here I am, being told off like some coddled child... Ah, but what does it matter anymore? All pretense has long since dropped... And yet, where shall I go now? I suppose I'll have to return my wandering... After all, I am of no help here..." She mused, shifting around, preparing to stand up.

"I'm hardly telling you off as though you were a child," Alphinaud laughed softly. "Just reminding you that I knew he wasn't going to hate you."

Selenie rolled her eyes, her usual demeanor slowing returning.

"Is there a difference at the moment? If anything, now _you're_ the one being childish, with that logic!" She insisted.

"I--! I am not being childish!" Alphinaud squeaked in argument, his fingers curling tightly at his sides as his nose wrinkled up. Aymeric smiled gently.

"Oh, but I do believe Master Alphinaud could find some use for you and your friend, if I am not mistaken?" 

Aymeric's suggestion drew a murmur of surprise from him, wide eyes blinking a moment.

"I...well...that is to say..." He cleared his throat a bit. "Thank you, lord commander, for putting me on the spot...." He muttered, before gathering himself.

"The Scions _do_ always have use for bearers of the Echo, which is what you, Selenie, seem to possess.... and Saphira seems rather highly skilled in magic -- good combat skills are also in high demand for the Scions."

And then, she realized what Aymeric was insinuating, and looked at him in disbelief.

"Are you being serious right now? The brat is clearly a genius scholar, and I'm a war-hardened bitch!" She pointed out, gesturing to Alphinaud.

"Exactly, Selenie. You are gifted in battle, something the Scions can use, especially considering that it is apparent that both you and your mage friend have the Echo, as Master Alphinaud has just pointed out. You know as well as I that Ishgard is not... not ready for you to return. So go, or do I need to make it an order?"

Selenie growled in annoyance.

"Fine, fine, but don't go boring me with a whole arse-load of bookworm talk! I speak with my spear, not with words!" She relented, standing up and walking over to Alphinaud. Saphira smiled for a moment, before joining her dragoon friend. Selenie then looked at Alphinaud, a half-smile on her face.

"Well, I assume you have friends you're gonna need to introduce me to?"

...and he gave a sigh of frustration, his nose wrinkling up.

"You think I'm a brat?" he inquired, his arms crossing.

"If that is the case, then I'm a brat who helped you when you couldn't help yourself." (He was starting to regret going along with the suggestion that he invite her to join the Scions....) "As though words are the only thing I'm skilled with." Alphinaud grumbled, his nose wrinkling up even more. Selenie laughed, before smacking him upside the head.

"I shouldn't need to tell you to watch your ego, brat." She warned, before shrugging.

"But worry not. I've no intention of boring you...." A soft huff of a sigh escaped, and he gave a nod at the inquiry. "I suppose you could say as much, but we must travel to Mor Dhona, as that is where our base is located."

"Mor Dhona, eh? That's supposed to be an adventurer's paradise... We'll have to make a safe place for Saphira to escape to, incase she gets socially overwhelmed. She can kick all kinds of arse, but she's..." A warning growl, and Selenie shrugged. "I rest my case. Now, let's be on our way-carriage rides are great times to sleep!" She said, leaving out a side entrance and smirking back at Alphinaud, before taking Saphira in her arms and taking off into the night.


End file.
